Breaking the News

Divorce is a sad occurrence, but they are adults with a definite sense of who they are and what they want. Children, on the other hand, are born into a world that is created by their parents. This is what they know and derive their identity from. To have this world fall apart, can be quite devastating.

One wonders if there is a right way or wrong way of breaking the news. The key to breaking the news of an impending divorce to children is doing it with a lot of sensitivity. Parents need to set aside their personal differences and animosity when they are informing their children.

Upfront and Direct

Choosing a way to break the news of divorce to children can be difficult. Some parents may choose to be upfront and direct with the children. If the children are fairly older and grounded, engaging them in an honest discussion may be a good way to let them know about a decision to part ways.

Parents who decide to be upfront need to sit down with their children and explain the situation as truthfully as possible. It is however important that they keep any anger against each other, out of the picture. Sometimes when children are taken into confidence, they may be able to take the situation in their stride. There will, of course, be times when this approach backfires and leaves the children shell shocked and devastated. Only parents will know if the straight forward approach is something their children can handle.

Slow and Gentle

If the upfront and direct way seems too harsh, some parents might choose to take the slow and gentle approach. They may start by dropping hints and talking generally about divorce. Sometimes they may ask grandparents to get involved too and together break the news to the children.

Sometimes, one of the parents might decide to take the children out to dinner and explain that there may be changes in the offing. The husband and wife might take turns to take the children on trips separately to show them that the future might have many such trips.

The Reactions

No one can guarantee how a particular child will react to news about parents divorcing. There will definitely be a reaction. In some cases the reaction can be overt with the child crying, screaming or having a tantrum. In other cases a child may become sullen and quiet.

Parents need to be prepared for any kind of reaction, for it is after all, very troubling news for any child. At least temporarily, parents need to set aside their own feelings and concentrate on helping their children cope. At no cost should the children be drawn into battle and be asked to take sides. That would be terribly cruel.

It can be heart rending to see your child break down or turn against you. However, a parent should understand that it is but a natural reaction and every parent should be gentle and supportive of their children during this difficult time.

Promising Stability

When parents break the news of an impending divorce, they need to stress on the fact that their love for their children remains exactly the same, no matter what. They should also assure the children that being parents is their absolute priority, whatever else may change.

Children need to see that circumstances might change and living arrangements will differ, but their world will not come crashing down on them. Parents should make sure that the children understand that both of them will always be there for them. It is important at this point, for both parents to display respect towards each other.

The weeks or months that follow, can be extremely trying. Both parents should be open and willing to answer any questions that the children might have.

Minimising the Damage

When your world seems to be falling apart, it might seem hard to imagine that things will ever be the same again. Parents need to be extra gentle and patient with their children and not take out their own unhappiness on them. It would greatly minimise the damage if both parties refrain from angry tirades and fighting with each other in front of the children. If they can separate in as amicable a way as possible, it would definitely help the children heal faster.

Article Source: http://www.theukarticledirectory.co.uk